SteveB weighs in (ha!) with his observations from Main St. Arts Festival. Read more of his observations on weighty issues at his website: Fort Worth Blogorrhea. -Pete W.

Fort Worth is a city in transformation, as we all see daily. After a couple of days at the Main Street Arts Festival, I’m not sure were changing for the best. What I saw were legions of cowering otiose simps. Bold statement, you say? Allow me to present my case.

Photo by timyates

No longer are the streets of our dear city filled with nubile women and virile men. Speaking for the men, Main St. used to be a place where one’s neck would hurt the next day as a result of all the head-turners peppering the streets. Now everyone is just plain fat. Me included. We need to stop installing steak-houses downtown and start putting in more gyms.

But the most egregious offense against taste and decency was not the morbid obesity, it’s the trend towards the un-ambulatory dog. I was shocked…shocked by how many near-hairless canines were being carried up and down the street. And to break the stereotype, most were carried by men. Emasculated men, to be sure. Of what use is a dog that doesn’t walk?

To assuage my dour feelings of the state of affairs in Fort Worth, I need only four words. They were from Dallas.

If you’re looking for a respite from the nuttery that is Main Street Arts Festival, here are a couple of options:

Fort Worth Public Art is holding a symposium at McDavid Studio with Cliff Garten and Christopher Janney, two of the people who will be creating the sound and lightscape around and along Lancaster Ave. (Ok, so it’s still art-related, but at least it’s air-conditioned, and it doesn’t cost 13 tickets.)

If you want to get out of downtown altogether, there’s still one more day of University Christian Church’s Earth Day celebration. Jenna and I went over there yesterday, and they’ve got a great setup, with tons of vendors and presentations planned.

I hope to see you out and about!