To this was an unusual week would be an understatement. It began with me laughing at the words that SteveB wrote for this site, and it ended with me at his funeral. In between, I learned a few things about Steve Buckellew and how much we really know people.

One thing I learned about SteveB was that he was a very loved person. I base this on the words of those who knew him best at his memorial service. I also base this on the fact that people were literally out the door—I counted at least 150 people there and I believe there were more.

Another thing I learned about SteveB was that I really missed out on getting to spend more time with him. Many of the comments I have read and things I heard said about him came back to the same point—he was a great guy to be around.

But in spite of that, I felt I got to know SteveB a little through his words. He was one of the best commenters I had on both this blog and on The Caravan of Dreams. We shared a love of the same music. He left some great comments on my post about The Reivers show in Austin back in February, and then wrote me a funny email a month later after I had that that post grow way-beyond-stale saying, in effect, get off your ass and write something because I need some new reading material.

As I sat in his memorial service and his family and friends read some of the things he wrote for his blog, and everyone laughed and maybe cried a little, it occurred to me that I might not have known Steve Buckellew much at all, I knew SteveB pretty well. And even if that persona was a bit of Internet abstraction, the person and the persona were pretty close to one. He was always what he appeared to be–a thoughtful, intellectual smartass with a love for people and a penchant for the truth.

A lot of what is said or written out in the world of the Internet can be pretty disposable. There can be flashes of brilliance and there can be a lot of background noise. But a lot of it comes back to the same thing: people looking for a connection, wanting to be heard, to say, “I matter.”

That’s how I learned something else this week, a lesson of that connectedness. I really hit home as I stood on the sidewalk on Magnolia Avenue on Thursday afternoon and talked on my cell phone to the best friend I have in the world, Mike Loughry. Mike was on his phone somewhere in Columbus, Ohio, where most days he swings his lightsaber as an attorney. But once upon a time, he was a kid growing up in Mistletoe Heights. And once upon a time, he went to second grade with Steve Buckellew and crossed paths with him many times growing up in Fort Worth back in the 1970s and 1980s.

Yeah, the world can be a pretty small place sometimes. It’s kind of funny all of the connections that are right there in front of us and we don’t even know it.

Steve Buckellew’s life was a thread woven in an out of the lives of many people. Many of them were there on Friday. But even if you never met the man, you knew a little but about him if you read his words. And those words are still there. I dare say you will find more flashes of brilliance than background noise there.

It was said that they whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before, they are wherever we are now. That is so true and so reassuring. Through his words, we were connected to Steve Buckellew. We heard him. He mattered. And he is still with us.

Thanks, Steve.

Tags: steveb

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• April 24, 2008 -- Sad News About Our Friend, SteveB